Bathing suit shopping has always always always been torture. Even back when I was a skinny little 130 pound teenager I could find horrible things about my body in those dressing room mirrors. I dreaded it every year. Still do. But I've had the same bathing suit for probably 7 years. It's time for a new one.
A couple friends of mine recommended the Catlina brand suits at WalMart. Cheap, tummy control, cute prints, seems too good to be true. But they all swore they were awesome. So I went shopping. With three kids. I picked a suit off the rack that said it was my size, checked out, and came home. (Because lets be honest. Swimsuit shopping is bad enough. Trying on said swim suits in WalMart with three kids in two is more torture than I care to endure.)
Well.
How about no.
First, I could barely get it up over my hips. I thought "hey, this tummy control is going to be GREAT".
Ha.
Then I got it up to my boobs. And I couldn't reign the girls in enough to fit into the cups. So I re-tied it and squashed them in there and then did what I shouldn't have done. I looked in the mirror.
But for the first time in YEARS I didn't want to cry looking at my reflection. The bathing suit was horrible, yes. But this body is mine. I'm not ashamed of it. I have rolls and a double chin and thick thighs. I have an apron belly from the three c-sections that brought my babies into this world.
Yes, I'm overweight. Obese. But I'm not unhappy. I am who I am. I'm just me.
I'd like to be about 100 pounds lighter version of me, but the outside of my body is only the housing for who I really am.
So tomorrow I'll go return the bathing suit. And buy a new one that is flattering on the body I have right now. I'm not hiding inside all summer when there is sunshine to soak up, water rides to take my kids on, and a pool to swim in.
A couple friends of mine recommended the Catlina brand suits at WalMart. Cheap, tummy control, cute prints, seems too good to be true. But they all swore they were awesome. So I went shopping. With three kids. I picked a suit off the rack that said it was my size, checked out, and came home. (Because lets be honest. Swimsuit shopping is bad enough. Trying on said swim suits in WalMart with three kids in two is more torture than I care to endure.)
Well.
How about no.
First, I could barely get it up over my hips. I thought "hey, this tummy control is going to be GREAT".
Ha.
Then I got it up to my boobs. And I couldn't reign the girls in enough to fit into the cups. So I re-tied it and squashed them in there and then did what I shouldn't have done. I looked in the mirror.
But for the first time in YEARS I didn't want to cry looking at my reflection. The bathing suit was horrible, yes. But this body is mine. I'm not ashamed of it. I have rolls and a double chin and thick thighs. I have an apron belly from the three c-sections that brought my babies into this world.
Yes, I'm overweight. Obese. But I'm not unhappy. I am who I am. I'm just me.
I'd like to be about 100 pounds lighter version of me, but the outside of my body is only the housing for who I really am.
So tomorrow I'll go return the bathing suit. And buy a new one that is flattering on the body I have right now. I'm not hiding inside all summer when there is sunshine to soak up, water rides to take my kids on, and a pool to swim in.
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